dreaming

When I set out to become a Waldorf class teacher, I had a vision of the place, the children, the colleagues and the way I would be operating in all of it. After three years of teaching it has become clear that to manifest that vision will require a physical move of many hundreds of miles. The Wizard and I are busy putting one foot in front of the other to make our dream come true.

Sometimes I cannot believe how blessed I am. Three years ago I enrolled one of my children at our Waldorf School, very part time. By the following summer I was able to send both children and I had a job there, allowing me to gain experience and send my children where they needed to be. A number of friends pointed out to me how setting my intention was so hugely important in making a dream become reality.

The dream has shifted. I've been lucky to have been given the opportunity to learn for three years. I have my own classroom to develop my skills, but I've also been able to observe, substitute and student teach with a number of really gifted Waldorf teachers. Through artistic work I have learned to open my heart and receive the insights I need to support a group of children through their eight years. I am now less sure of my skills but more aware of my center; a humbling experience. At this time it feels like I need to take the plunge.

I have recently had the opportunity to apply for a job at my dream school (I won't hear back for a few weeks yet), two other schools in consideration have posted jobs, and I've landed an internship with two of the best teachers I know, all after a season of seeing things fall through. Once again my friends tell me that my determination is helping me put into place what my family needs. I chose to see it as a gift.

The biggest gift however has been visiting another school and learning that freed from the circumstances I now work under, I am able to truly find my center and connect with a multitude of children and adults on a level that feels carried from the outside. So as I go into Advent and the meditations of the Holy Nights, I focus my vision on achieving my dream: a position at a particular school in a specific caring community, in a geographic location that The Wizard and I have always felt as a healing tonic for our family. I hope to see my dream become manifest, for finding another dream will be a huge challenge. But I know that the universe has a plan and will reveal it all when the time is right. It is an exciting time and it's a little scary, but more than anything there is enormous gratitude for having this chance to dream.